I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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