I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
