Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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