It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
