He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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