that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
