yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
