i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
