she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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