We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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