she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
