Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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