This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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