i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
