Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
