so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I lost the right to judge tonight
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
