Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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