just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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