she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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