I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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