...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
