Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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