Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
