i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
