just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize