none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize