just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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