U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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