Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
