True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so let's talk penis.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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