90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
