we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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