I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
