so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
