i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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