I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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