i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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