Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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