I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
