Quick, to the slutcave!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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