The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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