apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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