3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
