we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
