hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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