She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
