perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize