duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
