Kiss
Puke
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
