Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
