Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize