I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
my poor anus
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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