Christians are straight up FREAKS
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
