Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
