Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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