all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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