the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
