i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
