I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
please don't ironically join a cult
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