i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
