He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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