Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
