At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
