we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize