I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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