i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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