Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
