I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
