i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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